Generalism

I’ve often wondered why I do my wide variety of things in life, why I get good at something then move on to something else before I give myself the chance to excel. I guess it has a lot do with the law of diminishing returns; how 10 years of perspiration gives only the same gains as the first 6 months learning something new (and boy do I enjoy those first 6 months). But of course they only last 6 months and only too soon wear off under realisations of just how far remains to be travelled.

But I don’t think that’s the whole story. I love learning new things; my viola in particular is something special, and I love playing it (albeit in a rough and ready kinda way), and I get a lot out of the lesson I have most weeks. But, lessons appear to be, by their very nature, an opportunity to point out problems, issues, missing knowledge or understanding. To cut a long diatribe short, they are a negative experience. And actually, as time goes on and “fun” viola playing (as it starts off) becomes “serious” playing (for exams), the negativity only increases.

Now this is good for the playing - I learned a couple of bits tonight that have yet again changed how I play, and increased my understanding of music as a whole. But that does not get away from the fact that it was still a negative experience, and I can’t help but feel that this is the start of a rubber band stretching; at some point on the event horizon of learning, the rubber band reaches its limit, and learning just stops being fun. The negatives associated with the lessons outweigh the enjoyment had by learning, and everything comes to a halt. And the learning stops to be replaced by the start of another learning curve elsewhere.

Only, I really don’t want it to happen this time, but I feel kinda powerless to do anything about it. I just get the feeling that it is only a matter of time. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m going to do my damndest to find a way around this learner’s block, and who knows, maybe I will excel at something in my life, but I have a feeling that I am going to run into that rubber band all too often over the coming years.